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Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The First Ever Jazz/Blazers Young Man in an Old Man's Body Team

In my research of tonight's game between the Jazz and Blazers I could not get over the fact that Greg Oden looks like he could be Lebron James' Dad. The dude claims he is 20 but by the looks of his pics, he can't be a day younger than 62. With that in mind I began researching a few other Jazz/Blazer players who fell into the same category. You know, the old "I look a lot younger than I am look." Or, the "I will never have to show my idea....ever, look." So, in an effort to continue my un-insightful, worthless posts I present to you the First (and most likely last) Ever "Jazz/Blazers Young Man in an Old Man's Body Team."


Center: Greg Oden


"Which one of you said I look old?"



Power Forward: Bill Walton.


I was going to write a witty caption about the beard, the hair, the bandanna, the shirt, the set of arms that make me look like Karl Malone, but I really think I would just be wasting my time. The picture says enough. The pic shows a 23 year old Walton.....had he not gained 100 lbs and the red hair turned gray I would have sworn it was taken yesterday.



Forward: Thurl Bailey

Are you a twenty-something man wanting to look more mature? Consider this recipe:

One Pair of Large/X-Large Vintage NBA Approved Goggles
One Mustache
Crew Cut/Flat Top (Either will work)
One pair short shorts. (If they reach half-way down the thigh, they are too long)
Under the short shorts add one pair of Team Logo Spandex
One Pair Mid-Size Striped Socks
One X-Large Soft Knee Brace (Hard Brace with Metal Poles to add 10 more years)


Guard: Clyde Drexler




I'm going to be honest, although I know a lot of you will judge me for watching this, Clyde looks exactly the same in this photo as he did when he appeared on Dancing with the Stars. I guess all the humiliation you go through being the 20 year old with a receding hairline pays off when you turn 50 and look exactly the same. Who's laughing now?


Guard: Ron Boone

This picture is almost scary. The man has not aged since this pic, taken in 1932. (With the exception of the shaved head...which I think makes him look more mature.)

So, there you have it, The First Ever "Jazz/Blazers Young Man in an Old Man's Body Team." If you have others, feel free to share them in the comment field. Be sure to tune in and root for our Jazz tonight. We need all the help we can get to regain our dominance over Portland.

Booner