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What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin. ~Mark Twain, Notebook, 1902



Some women can't say the word lesbian... even when their mouth is full of one. ~Kate Clinton



If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging? ~Mark Twain



Mankind will never see an end of trouble until... lovers of wisdom come to hold political power, or the holders of power... become lovers of wisdom. ~Plato, The Republic



Though of all poses a moral pose is the most offensive, still to have a pose at all is something. ~Oscar Wilde, The Critic as Artist, 1890



It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent. ~Dave Barry



I have heard with admiring submission the experience of the lady who declared that the sense of being perfectly well-dressed gives a feeling of inward tranquility which religion is powerless to bestow. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, Letters and Social Aims



Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money. ~Author Unknown Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money. ~Author Unknown



The vicious count their years; virtuous, their acts. ~Samuel Johnson



Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt. ~William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure, 1604



Is man's civilization only a wrappage, through which the savage nature of him can still burst, infernal as ever? ~Thomas Carlyle, The French Revolution, vol III, book V, chapter 7



A happy thought is like a seed that sows positivity for all to reap. ~Miriam Muhammad



Time is the most undefinable yet paradoxical of things; the past is gone, the future is not come, and the present becomes the past even while we attempt to define it, and, like the flash of lightning, at once exists and expires. ~Charles Caleb Colton



True love stories never have endings. ~Richard Bach



For then shalt thou lift up thy face without spot; yea, thou shalt be stedfast, and shalt not fear: Because thou shalt forget thy misery, and remember it as waters that pass away: And thine age shall be clearer than the noonday; thou shalt shine forth, thou shalt be as the morning. ~Job 11:15-17



I'd like mornings better if they started later. ~Author Unknown



We waste a lot of time running after people we could have caught by just standing still. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960



We are all tattooed in our cradles with the beliefs of our tribe; the record may seem superficial, but it is indelible. You cannot educate a man wholly out of the superstitious fears which were implanted in his imagination, no matter how utterly his reason may reject them. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., The Poet at the Breakfast Table, 1872



Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it. ~Gordon R. Dickson



The only man who sticks closer to you in adversity than a friend is a creditor. ~Author Unknown