Mike Bibby Does Nothing For Me

The Miami Heat are in a point guard hell. The entire year they have been searching for the answer. The Heat tried Carlos Arroyo... nope, Mario Chalmers... a little better but nothing special, LeBron James... okay, but better on the wing, and now it's Mike Bibby... Yikes. Bibby agreed to a buyout with the Washington Wizards and according to ESPN's Chris Broussard sources, he will sign with the Heat.  This doesn't put the Heat over the top by any means.



Bibby is the very poor man's Derek Fisher.  He will give some good minutes with a dash of scoring although he cannot play defense to save his soul. Remember how Brandon Jennings last year in the playoffs took Bibby to the woodshed each game. Bibby could not keep up for a seven-game series. There is a reason the Atlanta Hawks got rid of Bibby for Kirk Hinrich. You have to think if Bibby was good enough, the playoff bound Hawks will keep him for the remainder of the season.  

This is such a point guard driven league, which makes Bibby sticks out like snorlax wearing Baby Gap. He cannot guard Rajon Rondo or Derrick Rose, that's a huge problem even with guys like Dwyane Wade and LeBron on his side. Bibby will likely be put on a player who is bigger than him, or the Heat will have to play a zone. This solves no problems for the so-called Heatles.  They will have to make unnecessary adjustments in every game.  

To me, this is a panic move. The Heat know they missed out on getting a good role player at point guard during the offseason. They did not even need a guy who will start on most of the NBA rosters, rather a guy to distribute to Wade, LeBron, and Chris Bosh at a high level plus play some defense. Bibby will get the ball to the Big 3, but he will suffer a lot of the blame when it comes to concerns about the Heat's defense.

-Charlie.

Things Mike Bibby Probably Does

As we all know, Mike Bibby is probably the worst. But how much the worst? Along with blog bro Devine, here are some things that are most likely true about Mike Bibby.

Mike Bibby seems like he would...

• think it's funny to not flush the toilet.
• DVR "Mind of Mencia."
• talk about getting a motorcycle a lot.
• always be saying, "did you see that three I hit last night?" when he knows you were watching the game because he gave you tickets.
• have a cousin named Doug. (CONFIRMED)
• see Tyler Perry movies to seem sensitive, then totally bag on them with his boys.
• get bad tattoos. (CONFIRMED)
• make his entourage get bad tattoos. (CONFIRMED)
• insist on having an entourage. (CONFIRMED)
  
• think LL Cool J should make more records.
• know all the words to "Put It In My Mouth."
• blow a .07 then tell everyone how the secrets to beating the system.
• try to grow a full beard, but when the cheeks didn't fill out, tell everyone beards were wack.
• buy the Kid Cudi record.
• always get himself a bowl of cereal and not even offer you a bowl when he knows you love Lucky Charms.
• put his feel up on your couch without asking if it's cool.
• call your dog fat.
• tell Ellen Hickle that you can't dance, right before you asked her to dance.
• say that 8 Mile should have won an Oscar.
• call Jay Leno and Tim Allen his favorite comedians.
• wear cubic zirconias and try to pass them off as real.
• buy a $10 supermarket gift card as his Secret Santa present.
• front about everything.

Add yours in the comments.