Things Mike Bibby Probably Does

As we all know, Mike Bibby is probably the worst. But how much the worst? Along with blog bro Devine, here are some things that are most likely true about Mike Bibby.

Mike Bibby seems like he would...

• think it's funny to not flush the toilet.
• DVR "Mind of Mencia."
• talk about getting a motorcycle a lot.
• always be saying, "did you see that three I hit last night?" when he knows you were watching the game because he gave you tickets.
• have a cousin named Doug. (CONFIRMED)
• see Tyler Perry movies to seem sensitive, then totally bag on them with his boys.
• get bad tattoos. (CONFIRMED)
• make his entourage get bad tattoos. (CONFIRMED)
• insist on having an entourage. (CONFIRMED)
  
• think LL Cool J should make more records.
• know all the words to "Put It In My Mouth."
• blow a .07 then tell everyone how the secrets to beating the system.
• try to grow a full beard, but when the cheeks didn't fill out, tell everyone beards were wack.
• buy the Kid Cudi record.
• always get himself a bowl of cereal and not even offer you a bowl when he knows you love Lucky Charms.
• put his feel up on your couch without asking if it's cool.
• call your dog fat.
• tell Ellen Hickle that you can't dance, right before you asked her to dance.
• say that 8 Mile should have won an Oscar.
• call Jay Leno and Tim Allen his favorite comedians.
• wear cubic zirconias and try to pass them off as real.
• buy a $10 supermarket gift card as his Secret Santa present.
• front about everything.

Add yours in the comments.

Joe Smith Template

Hey dudes. I was reading the Internet last night, and I made it about halfway through when I came upon something pretty wacky. As you probably know, Joe Smith has played for a ton of basketball teams. This year, he's going to be a Hawk, which is his tenth team. That makes his team percentage (TP) exactly 33.3 percent (repeating). Since he's played for some teams more than once, his TTP (true team percentage) is somewhere closer to 40 percent. It's a complicated formula, so you'll have to trust me that it's true.

But that wasn't the wacky thing. The wacky thing that I previously mentioned is what I found in a restricted area of the NBA.com website.

Apparently, the NBA is doing a service to the 20 teams that Joe Smith hasn't yet played for by creating a template for their press packages. From what I've gathered, a team will just use this generic shot of Joe Smith whenever they acquire him. Furthermore, I've ascertained that this photo was definitely not created in MS Paint. That would just be insulting.

Because he's so well-traveled, David Stern has ordered that each team has a SMITH 32 jersey on hand so that he doesn't have to wait once he's traded for cap relief. I guess Stern feels that every team should have their chance to own a backup power forward with a decent 15 footer who can grow a bunch of different kinds of facial hair. It's some sort of grandfather clause, like when Craig McTavish didn't have to wear a helmet in the NHL.

Big News at Jamal Crawford's Press Conference

I'm not too worried about Joe. Believe me, I'll get my shots. Okay, next question...how about from the back left.

How do you feel about the NBA changing sponsors?

I hadn't heard that yet. What do you mean?

McDonald's is no longer the NBA's fast food sponsor. Now it's Taco Bell.

For real?

Yes.