Before we get to the rankings, I added three and replaced one with a better word. The three added were annoyance (A) scoring a -1, any girl getting naked will earn 3 points (guys too if it's funny and not unnecessary ), and Crying (C) scoring -3. Instead of Wet Blanket, it's now BitchAssNess in honor of P. Diddy. Here are round one of the Power Rankings. Here is a link to the categories.
1. Deena- Last Week (8th) Total Points scored 18
How She Scored: (-3A 10Q 2OC 3HU 3N 5D 3F -3C)
Overall Thoughts: She brought the noise on the first episode. It was clear she was trying to make a name for herself by being the drunkest, getting naked first, and the first one to start a fight. Impressed with her word usage even though it taught us like always never use the C word in an argument. She does have an annoying voice, but put her body with Snooki's face, you would be satisfied with your Saturday night decision on Sunday morning.
2.) The Situation- LW (4th) TPS 16
How He Scored: (10Q 3Q 2OC 1F)
Overall Thoughts: I honestly think Sitch realized how creepy he ended Season 2. He came back with a vengeance with talking about Deena for Rookie of the Year and his Thanksgiving comment. Not to mention his refusal to hook up, something very unlike The Sitch to do, but maybe he is turning over a new leaf. I liked his attitude and I honestly think he reevaluated how much he sucked in Miami.
3.) JWoww- LW (5th) TPS 15 How She Scored: (2F 2OC 5Q 6F)
Overall Thoughts: JWoww did most of her scoring from other shows or personal events. I mean did you see what she wore on MTV's New Year's Eve?! My goodness that is deserving of some credit and that is better than the yellow shirt that drives up my pageviews. They also showed the first fight and won round 2 this week. We need to settle this like old-school WWE with a steel cage fight in the following season.
4.) Pauly D- LW (1st) TPS 15
How He Scored: (15Q, just says so many funny things)
Overall Thoughts: Pauly D didn't really make an impact on the first episode except for ripping on his boys. First, he ripped the Sitch's use of the hot tub and I don't blame him whatsoever. Second, he made fun of Vinny's shower caddy, which we will get to later on.
5.) Vinny- LW (2nd) TPS 10
How He Scored: (-5BAN 5Q 5S)
Overall Thoughts: Vinny proved that he kept up his smushing ways when he left Miami after it was revealed that he had hooked up with Snooki's best friend Ryder who is a smoke. I had no idea why Snooki was mad, I mean it seemed like a one time thing but she got attached to Vinny. He ended up getting blindsided by the whole ordeal, bad news. Also bad news was his shower caddy. Most of us had one when we lived in the dorms, I myself had a bucket. But not when you are just with a bunch of roommates, cmooooon mann.
6.) Ronnie- LW (7th) TPS 2
How He Scored: (-5BAN 5Q -1 3F)
Overall Thoughts: The biggest BitchAssNess move of the season was taking the bedroom that was supposed to belong to MVP. I have a feeling it will in the rightful owners' hands by episode three but who knows. If Bill Simmons had a The Book of Reality Television, this would go down as one of the Greatest 33 What If's of Reality TV. Did like his comment about the gremlin and giving Snooki, the title of The Loser of Poughkeepsie.
7.) Snooki- LW (3rd) TPS 0
How She Scored: (-1OC -1A 3HU -5RB 4F)
Overall Thoughts: Snooks was all over the board in this first episode. I mean she looked much improved from the seasons before, and discussed her vibrator, which is always a good conversation. I also thought her rant against Sammi was the best out of the three. But she rooster blocked Vinny, which as always is a no-no. I expected a better start from her.
8.) Sammi- LW (6th) TPS -1
How She Scored: (-15BAN 13F 2 OC -1A)
Overall Thoughts: Sammi is doing the same thing The Situation did in Year 2. Obviously, she watched the tapes and now thinks she is better than the rest of the cast. You cannot be Sammi Sweetheat if you act like a stuck up bitch. Even though she thinks sweetheart and bitch are interchangeable, they are not at all. I love that JWoww ducked her first punch then caught her in the face. Sammi is not a nice person, and hope this wet blanket goes home sooner than later. Here is the video for those who missed it or want to watch it again.
-Charlie.
