Kinda Worried About Tyler HansBro

Bros. I recently saw a picture of Tyler HansBro, and something is wrong.

If you've seen the 2002 documentary film The Ring then you already know what I'm talking about. Judging by the blurriness on his face, I'd estimate that HansBro has about 4 days to live. It is likely his buddy on the right is already dead (RIP Buddy).

Not cool, Sadako.

In that documentary, the filmmakers go in-depth trying to figure out what exactly happened to the girl that kills everybody in that movie. If you can't remember the sequence of events, here is a quick breakdown:

• Watch a creepy video.
• Face goes blurry.
• Tortured young girl comes and kills you.

Here is a diagram of what happened to the last Teletubby to watch the video.

RIP Teletubby

As you can see, Sadako ate the Teletubby's insides from the inside. It's horrific and I don't want that to happen to Tyler HansBro. Why you ask?

He is best Bro icon to enter the NBA in years.

With the continued irrelevance of Jason KaBrono and the increasing annoyance that is Shaquille Bro'neal, there has to be someone to step in to that void and represent for all the Bros in the world. Tyler HansBro is that Bro.

Besides, who is going to sell those Dockers?

These Dockers aren't going to sell themselves.

That's why it's troubling. We need Bros in the league, just like we need Bros in our blog posts. Without Bros, how would we know who is legit and authentic (i.e Dudes), and who is not legit or authentic (e.g. Bros).

I can only imagine Tyler's face when he saw The Ring.

Tyler's face when he saw The Ring

So not only have we lost a marketing superstar, we've also lost the last remaining Bro hope in the NBA. Now, there is no foil for Dudes such as Brad Miller and Greg Oden and Chris Bosh. Dudes need Bros, and Bros need Dudes. This is how the world works.

RIP HansBro:"Seems Like a Chill Bro"

Various Marketing Opportunities for Tyler Hansbrough

As the President and CEO of a growing marketing firm, I've got to pay attention to what others in my field are doing. In order for me to make Blowtorch Consulting as big as I dream, I need to be able to incorporate what the competition is doing, but take it to a higher level. Right now, I'm clearly the most innovative marketer around, but I'm not as well known as some of the bigger managers/agents but people are pretty impressed with my status.

One guy who I admire a lot is Jeff Schwartz over at Excel Sports Management. I've really been impressed with his Tyler Hansbrough campaign. Hansbrough is going to be pretty marketable, especially because he's in Indiana. He fits their demographic perfectly. Let's take a look at the package they've put together.

JC Penney Spokesman

This just makes sense. I like that they're playing up his style-averse fashion choices as a kind of style. And since the market share of JC Penney among all other Indiana clothiers is nearing 85%, this could be a very lucrative deal. I see them offering Hansbrough his own big and tall clothing line that's heavy on pleated pants and untailored button-downs. This could be huge.

Brough Hats

I'm on board with this initiative as well. I like the Brough/bro interplay because not only is it his name, but the people who are the biggest Tyler Hansbrough fans are real bros. They wear these hats anyways, so why not sell them something endorsed by their favorite player.

Indiana Jersey Promotion

I'm kind of on the fence with this move. Yeah, it gets Hansbrough's name out there, but there's also no real monetization for Tyler's camp. I can't imagine more than 75 people are going to want a Hansbrough Pacers jersey, so they might be giving these away to the only people who would buy them.

Tyler Hansbrough Wax Statue

Now this is the real legendmaker. What other rookie already has a wax statue? That's baller status right there. This is going to be something that Blowtorch Consulting comes back to again and again. There are so many opportunities here. You can charge for pictures taken. You can send it on tour. You can rent it out to nightclubs as a promotion. The possibilities are endless, and the attention to detail is simply stunning. It almost looks real.

Needless to say, the Hansbrough campaign is pretty impressive and I can see Blowtorch Consulting using some of these ideas as we continue to grow. I really like the multifaceted approach they're taking, and the way they're using unusual products to increase their visibility (a tenet of Blowtorch Consulting's business plan). Well done, Jeff Schwartz. I hope we can work together some day.