I still remember the day we all saw Lamar Odom's future shirt. It was pretty exciting because we got to see the kind of clothes that we will all be wearing someday. I did a bit of research and found out that his shirt is named The Shirt, and is made of a polymer compound that not only adjusts to body heat, but also the wearer's mood. When I found out that last part, I was kind of sad for Lamar.
As you can tell from his face, he's a little confused here. But after reading up on The Shirt, I discovered that the reflective strips throughout The Shirt tighten when they sense anxiety. You can see how the shoulder strips are very bunched together, as if to say, "will there even be a future where I exist?" They could also be saying "which of these two hats should I choose?" The manual is unclear about this.However, it appears that his Shirt has found a new reason to live. I found this picture of The Shirt and its new girlfriend Khloe Kardashian during my hourly perusal of every gossip blog on the Internet:
Look how straight and loose his shoulder strips are. His button placket is also very flat and elongated. These are both good signs. Not only does it ensure that The Shirt is working correctly (confirmed by his grin), it also proves that there is a use for this Shirt in the future, and that there will probably be a future where we all wear these Shirts. Now, my only concern is that The Shirts will turn on us and Will Smith will have to save us, but he's really good at that so we should be fine.
