One Picture, Every Decade

I was checking out this picture of two floppy-haired bros shooting hoops against each other.

And I was looking at it really intense style and then I unlocked the key, which isn't how that metaphor works. But I uncovered the hidden message. I think it's a Da Vinci Code thing, because this picture recalls every era of NBA basketball, except for the 1940 which hardly count.

BREAK-DOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

• 50s - non-muscular, light skinned legs, a hallmark of the early all white NBA.
• 60s - unkempt 'power to the people' hair and ineffective headbandery recalls the Summer of Love
  
• 70s - faux-tro wine and gold Cleveland Cavaliers uniforms
• 80s - too short shorts
• 90s - a center part and five o'clock shadow, ladies
  
• 00s - pointlessly updated Los Angeles Lakers jerseys
• 10s - this picture was taken in 2010

So basically this is the perfect picture for our times. Every true NBA fan would have it tattooed on their back, with the annotations so that it makes sense.

The NBA is a melting pot. We put in European and Argentinean chocolates, melt those chocolates together, and then after they have combined to form a nice Euro-Argentine chocolate paste we spread it on wheat toast and maybe put a little honey on top of the chocolate paste and enjoy it. Maybe we have another piece or maybe we get diabetes, we can't see the future.

"Tomorrow never knows." -- Ringo Starr
"For real." -- Trey Kerby

The Darko Domino

The Memphis Grizzlies have announced the signing of Darko Milicic to a 3 year, $21 million contract. (According to Ric Bucher) The ramifications of this deal however, go far beyond the Grizzlies lineup. The signing of Darko also has a profound impact on the futures of both Anderson Varejao and Mikki Moore.

Varejao: It has been well documented in the past few weeks that the Grizzlies were seeking an athletic big man to pair with Pau Gasol, and their pursuit of free agents such as Anderson Varejao and Andres Nocioni arguably drove up the asking price for those players. With the signing of Darko however, the Grizzlies will no longer be out there to sign Varejao to an offer sheet. What this likely means is that Varejao will end up staying in Cleveland at a much lower price than he would have received if the Grizzlies had signed him to an offer sheet. Many people had speculated that if the Grizzlies signed Varejao to a contract too far above the mid level exception that the luxury tax wary Cavs would be faced with an extremely difficult choice; either let Varejao leave and focus on signing Sasha Pavlovic, or match the offer sheet and risk going over the luxury tax. The signing of Darko eliminates that difficult quandry alltogether.

Moore: The other player that is affected by the signing of Darko is New Jersey's free agent center Mikki Moore. According to reports Moore has rejected a 3 year, $10 million offer from the Nets and was set to meet this week with Golden State, Chicago, and Memphis. Now that Memphis is out of the running Moore could find it extremely difficult to find much more than the $10 million the Nets have on the table. And if he isn't able to find it, New Jersey may no longer be an option as the Nets have already made contact with Jamaal Magloire. Moore now finds himself in an extremely difficult spot, as he is 31 years old and has had very little playing time or success before this past season. If he has burned bridges with the Nets could quickly realize that not many teams are willing to pay big for an aging and unproven player.

Which Way to the Finals?

Throughout the post-season, LeBron and Company have done enough to put away the Wizards and Nets, but now it's time for them to step up. Last season, the overconfident Detroit Pistons, led by the ever obnoxious Rasheed Wallace, allowed the Cavs to snatch a game away from them in a series that many media outlets declared should have been a sweep. Then Rasheed worked his magic, opening his loud mouth to declare that the Cavs wouldn't win any more games in the series. Obviously this is really stupid...remember how Greg Oden threw down on Joey Dorsey, after Dorsey talked trash? So the Cavs won another game...oh yea they won one more, too. In games 6 and 7 there was Detroit, on the brink of elimination, when the Cavs collapsed, bringing more woe to Cleveland...as if we need any more of it.

If I was rational, I would say the Cavs are going to lose this series, too. But I'm a Cleveland sports fan, and obviously not rational.

So without further ado, I present THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS' KEYS TO REACHING THE NBA FINALS!

Get physical!: After watching the Cavs fail to retaliate against Mikki Moore's hard foul against Sacha Pavlovic in the Nets-Cavs series, I came to realize just how "buddy-buddy" the NBA can be. I don't care if you're friends with an opponent, LeBron. This is the playoffs...retaliate...foul them hard. Same goes for the rest of the Cavs. EVERYONE must play physical, from Daniel Gibson to Damon Jones. Yesterday, the Pistons announced they had a big, bad hurting awaiting LeBron whenever he tries to drive to the basket. Fine...Zydrunas should hear that and elbow Rasheed Wallace in the head (kind of like what Wallace did to Ilgauskus last year, which required the Cavs center to have multiple stitches).

Find a killer instinct: If the Cavs go up in the series, they MUST put the nail the coffin. After watching Game Six of the Nets series, it seems they learned their lesson from last year, as the Cavs drained three after three to put the Nets away by sixteen. However, the Cavs cannot just live and die by the three. Too often some of the Cavs *cough* Larry Hughes *cough* have a tendency to clang jumper after jumper off of the rim, when they're obviously cold. In the past two games, Hughes was a revolting 4-23 from the field and 2-5 from the line, while averaging 3.5 assists. The whole idea of playing Hughes at point was to cut down on his trigger-happy tendencies...Mike Brown has to pound this into Larry's head again. So instead of continually shooting wild jumpers the Cavs must......

DRIVE!!! DRIVE INSIDE, DRIVE INSIDE, DRIVE INSIDE!: Everytime I see someone throwing up a ton of low-percentage shots, I want to vomit. Bang it inside to Z or Drew Gooden. Even Anderson Varejao could throw in the occasional basket if they get it to him inside. Of course, this would require the Cavs to actually get physical...and they had better be against the Pistons. Mike Brown could also use LeBron and Hughes to make slashing cuts to the basket. Who knows, maybe it'd even cut down on Hughes jacking up random jumpers. Drives could be ugly, but at least they don't produce rim-clanging nausea.

Defend the pick and roll!: In the Nets two wins, they ran the pick and roll with impunity. It was disgusting...over and over and over. The main culprit: Drew Gooden. He let Mikki Moore (on his 7th different NBA team in 9 years) blow by him again and again. Gooden better learn how to play better defense for the Pistons, or else it's going to be a long series.

Crash the Boards: The Cavs did a terrific job out-rebounding the less physical Nets in the first couple games of the series, but then went soft. They can't afford to go soft against the nasty Pistons. Once again, the big men HAVE TO get physical, crashing the boards and fighting for every loose ball.

Point guard?: Uhh...what's that? The Cavs need to find a permanent solution in the offseason at point guard. Eric Snow can be a great defender, but is simply not an offensive threat. The Larry Hughes "band-aid" isn't really working, as he still attempts to operate as more of a shooting guard. Mike Brown could take a risk, and attempt to play Daniel Gibson at PG for longer spurts in the game, as he performed well in Game 6 against the Nets.

If the Cavaliers can play up to their potential, and play with intensity, they have a decent shot at winning what could be a long and brutal series.

The G(m) Spot: Dallas Mavericks

You know something is wrong with your favorite team. It's right there, plain as day, for everyone and their mom to see. So why can't your team's GM fix it? In the "G(m) Spot" column we will examine how teams can go about fixing their roster problems for the upcoming season. If you want to see your team get the G(m) Spot treatment, please send suggestions to kiduterus@gmail.com

In the aftermath of the Maverick's loss to the Warriors much has been made of the Maverick's inabilty to slow down the tempo of the game consistently. More specifically, the glaring weakness of the Maverick's roster was exposed: They do not have a scoring option in the low post. Without the ability to slow down the game with teams such as the Warriors and Suns, the Mavs are going to continue seeing these types of failures in the postseason unlees something is done. The low post is not Dirk's game, and for all of the lip service being paid to him working on developing a better low post game over the summer, forget about it. That is not what Dirk's skill set dictates, and although perhaps you can teach an old dog new tricks, would you really pick Dirk over a Mike Vick trained Mastiff that has been lurking in the post for years? (Too soon?) The other low post options on the Mavs roster include Erick Dampier and DeSagana Diop, and for all of the rebounding and shot blocking help they provide neither could be said to be an offensive threat.

What the Mavs do have however, is a decently sized expiring contract for next season in Shawn Bradley's $5.2 million deal, which could help them acquire some veteran help in a trade with a cap strapped team. So now the question looms, where are the Mavs going to be able to get some help for Dirk in the low post? Barring any crazy, roster demolishing trades, here are some targets the Mavs should be looking at going into the offseason:


Anderson Varejao:
The Cav's rising young star is hitting the free agent market this summer, and would be the ideal remedy for what is ailing the Mavs. Varejao possesses the strong post game on offense that would benefit the Mavs against up temp0 teams, while still being athletic enough to get up and down the floor if the Mavs choose to go into a transition offense themselves. Varejao would probably be hard to acquire given the Mavs current cap situation ($62 million on the books already for next season), so the Mavs best option might be a sign and trade deal with the Cavs. And the other shoe that would have to drop in that scenario.....would be Jason Terry heading to the PG needy Cavs, who already have Drew Gooden and Ilgauskas to soften the front court hit of losing Varejao.

Jamaal Magloire:
It would seem that Magloire's time is up in Portland, with his contract expiring and the Blazers having acquired LaMarcus Aldridge in last year's draft. Though Magloire has had two somewhat sub par seasons the last two years, it is important to recall that he averaged double figures in scoring in all three of his seasons with the Hornets. Also to his credit, Magloire is only 28 years old. With his stock down after only starting 21 games this year and losing time to the likes of Aldridge and Joel Przybilla the Mavs might be able to sign Magloire to a contract much smaller than what it would take to bring in Varejao.

Corliss Williamson:
Sometimes, you just need offense. And in those situations, when rebounding and defense might not be of the highest priority for the Mavs, would be when Corliss Williamson would be most effective for them. Say what you will about Williamson's all around game, but there is no denying the fact that the man can put the ball in the hoop when he is in the game. And most importantly for the Mav's needs, he can put it in from the paint. Williamson, who will be a free agent this summer, would probably be the most affordable option for the Mavs, while perhaps also being the most situational.


Kendrick Perkins:
Let's just call this one the Greg Oden option for the Mavs. If the ping pong balls fall the right way for the Celtics to draft Oden, Boston would find itself in a predicament with Oden and Al Jefferson (whose second contract will be looming) sharing the frontcourt space with the raw talents of Perkins and Ryan Gomes. Why is this a bad thing? Well, for a team like the Celtics, it isn't very good to be paying $4 million plus to your 2nd or 3rd string PF when you have such an uncertain situation at PG. So remember Shawn Bradley's expiring contract I was talking about earlier? The Mavs could ship it along with a few draft picks to the Celtics for Perkins, giving Boston some added cap flexibility for the 2008 offseason which could see Baron Davis, Jason Kidd, Jameer Nelson, Chris Duhon, and Brevin Knight on the free agent market.