Go Crazy Cleveland! Go Crazy!

 If there is one bright spot in a Cleveland sports fan's life in 2011, it will be that they beat LeBron once and getting Derrick Williams in June.  I find insignificant for the Miami Heat, and I thought the issues with LBJ/Cleveland got petty by the middle of this season. It is still awesome to beat your favorite enemy.

-Charlie.

As The Heatles Turn

(Found this on Barstool Philly, great from Chris Webber)

I did not want to touch on the Miami Heat for the second time in three days. But, after they lost to the Portland Trail Blazers last night by the tune of 105-96, there was a very interesting quote from LeBron James. James said "Crazy thing is if we lose the rest of our games, we will still be in the playoffs." I posted this on Facebook, and the reaction was like if I made fun of Justin Bieber in front 100 teenage girls. The funny thing is LeBron is absolutely right no question about it, but it's nothing that should be said from their star player.



I posted this on Facebook because I believed it made the Heat look like a team, once again, that is mentally defeated. I wouldn't look that much into it, but Dwyane Wade shares the same sort of 'aww shucks' 'look at me' 'feel bad for us' persona. I called them mentally weak, which is an extreme comment for their careers, but right now, they have a losing mentality.

Jon, a Brewers Daily blogger and a passionate sports fan disagreed with me saying that quotes are overrated in sports. I thought about this for awhile today. Sometimes, yes, they do get overblown.  But I bet this is the first quote every journalist at that game uses in their story. Quotes add to the reasons why we love sports.  We always look for nuggets from the best in the business like LBJ, Brett Favre, Alex Rodriguez, and Kobe Bryant. Everyone hopes for the rants from the various players and coaches to quote for the next month or even year. A lot of the people covering the Heat need to make these inferences because if they don't, the radio will or the fans will. Quotes revolve around our sports life and other aspects like politics, and entertainment (e.g. Charlie Sheen).

Jon also mentioned that this true statement by LeBron is fine because 'seeding doesn't matter'. I had my O RLY?! face on and went to do some research on the topic.  Here's how it breaks down as to what seed represents the NBA's  Eastern Conference in the last 30 years.

1 seed: 18/30- 60 percent of the time
2 seed 7/30- 23 percent
3 seed 4/30- 13 percent
4 seed 1/30-   3 percent
5 seed never
6 seed never
7 seed never
8 seed 1/30-  3 percent (the lockout year as an fyi)

To say seeding doesn't matter is false. There is an obvious correlation to teams needing to have at least one home playoff series, and increased success, if they have two or more home series. You can say the Heat do not have fans and all of that jazz about Miami, but being home means not living out of a suitcase amongst other things. I am beyond interested to see what happens with the red-hot Los Angeles Lakers coming to South Beach on Thursday. The Heat need to win, the Lakers want to make another statement, should be a good one.

-Charlie.

DOY: Kobe Bryant

Slow day on the Tap.  I am assuming everyone is busy with shoveling and school work. If you missed last night's All Star Game, it ended up being pretty special.  LeBron James had the second triple-double in All Star Game history, and almost willed his team back to victory. Kobe Bryant dropped 38 and 14 taking home the MVP honors. Also Bryant had a nice dunk over Mr. James, enjoy.

-Charlie.

How 'Bout Them Cavs?

The Cleveland Cavaliers have finally ended that record setting losing streak that made them the NBA's "lovable losers" in 2010-2011. They beat Blake Griffin and the Los Angeles Clippers in overtime 126-119 at the Q.

That was their first victory in 26 games, and their first victory in 53 days. Some of those losses were close. Some were downright ugly (see the 112-57 loss against the Lakers). The thing a lot of people don't realize is that the Cavs had a 10 game losing streak going, then they beat the Knicks, in overtime, then they proceeded to lose 26 in a row. Add up the numbers, and they've lost 36 of their last 37 games.

They just haven't been the same since that devastating loss against Miami in which, LeBron James put up 38 points in his anticipated return to Chernobyl, err Cleveland. Not that they're any good to begin with, but they've been absolutely putrid.

Jamison is the Cavs leading scorer with 17.6 PPG.

Mo Williams and Antawn Jamison aren't any good and Anderson Varejão should not be a starter on an NBA team. It's pretty obvious now the kind of value "King James" had with those guys. They're essentially the same squad minus one of the best all-around players of all-time. Everyone knew it but hoped it wouldn't be this bad after the way LeBron and he P.R. staff handled the departure.

This season is clearly considered a wash by now in Cleveland and they are just vying for the top spot in the lottery this year. This is not that unlike the '02-'03 season where there was speculation of them throwing games just to win the LeBron sweepstakes when he went pro. The Cavs could use a good, young PG (Kyrie Irving?)

-Mitch

Ending the LeBron-Cleveland Feud

The Cleveland Cavaliers suffered one of the worst losses in NBA history.  They lost to the Los Angeles Lakers 112-57 last night. For those non-math majors out there, that is a 55 point loss. That is like Duke playing UW-Eau Claire type of scoring right there, although that might be giving the Blugolds some credit.  Obviously, players like Mo Williams and Antwan Jamison are embarrassed.  But to put the cherry on top, their most famous former player LeBron James tweeted his thoughts...  

Crazy. Karma is a b****.. Gets you every time. Its not good to wish bad on anybody. God sees everything!

I never said LeBron should have stayed in Cleveland and try to bring that city a title. Personally, I wanted New York, but that's just. I didn't like how he was an asshole about the whole ordeal.  LeBron's horrible PR decision is the reason why people hate him with more venom this season. LeBron wants people to know he hates Cleveland and never will forgive them for burning his jerseys, blocking out Jay-Z songs, etc.. But honestly, I am fed up with both of them.  This is like a weak rap beef comparable to Soulja Boy and Gucci Mane with LBJ and the city of Cleveland.  Each sides needs to give it up.  We understand you hate each other, but let's move on.

This isn't the WWE where we have a long feud resulting in a title fight, then another one, and then a final grudge match in a steel cage. This is the NBA.  Both sides need to stop being bitches. Unless someone throws a punch in a game, this is a meaningless squabble.  I do like LeBron is in FU mode because that's the type of player he needs to be this season. The killer instict is back, now let's see if he can do it in the playoffs.

-Charlie.

I'm Done Bashing LeBron But...

This video (posted on my Facebook wall by Murph) is too funny. It's just some dumbass doing a voice over that Nike commercial that LeBron did after "The Decision" to go to the Miami Heat. I apologize if I offend any cowboys, any Texans or any horses while doing this.



-Mitchy

My Thoughts on the Weekend that Was.....

It started off so great. Sitting in a box suite, enjoying the Heat's overtime win in Milwaukee, I felt that it was a sign of good things to come. Granted the Big 3 shot a combined total of just under 35%.

The Seattle Seahawks defeated the defending champion Saints. Awesome. This weekend will be great. Now hopefully the NFL will take off all those Tracy Porter Saints fans commercials which suddenly gives me an urge to slap a small baby. Nobody predicted the rout that would ensue on Saturday afternoon, but I think the one telling statistic I heard before the playoff game was the New Orleans Saints have never won a road playoff game. Ah well.....



On to the tragedy that was the demise of the Indianapolis Colts. Let me begin with stating that Jason Whitlock of Fox Sports may be the biggest African-American homer of all-time. If you want to laugh whilest reading an absurd piece from somebody who is supposed to be an unbiased professional sports writer please feel free. Michael Vick, the dog-killing, middle-finger-pointing, gambling-ring-backing, EX-CONVICT!, is more mature and grown up than Peyton Manning. Good Lord.

Now to the game. The Jets simply outplayed the Colts at every position except quarterback. Their offensive scheme of setting up the run with the pass was pure brilliance mixed with absurdity. The Colts' maligned defense had no answer for the Jets in the second half, and the ignorance of Special Teams by the Colts once again rears its ugly head in the form of a 44 yard kick off return with under two minutes to go. I give all the credit in the world to Rex Ryan. He rushed with four the entire game, sat back with 8 in the defensive backfield and forced Manning to check to a run. The lack of any run game killed the Colts in the regular season, and its 2 for 6 on third and 1 will serve as the most important key statistic when I look back on the day that I wish to forget.

Peyton Manning is no 9-10 in the playoffs. He has 1 super bowl title and better statistical playoff numbers than his nemesis, Tom Brady, except for record. My argument has been made perfectly clear in previous posts. The Colts lack of coaching prowess, special teams blunders, and no running game or defense of the running game are the sole reasons why they lost this game. Once again, Manning is under scrutiny for losing against a team that, besides his position, is extremely better. It's unfortunate, but hey, c'est la vie.

I did not watch the Chiefs Ravens game because I couldn't figure out who would want to.

All of the people across the USA. I love my Green Bay Packers. Let's first put it out there. The Philadelphia Eagles were not the better team. The Packers exploited their lack of depth in the defensive secondary, and their lack of a significant pass rush. Aaron Rodgers has a 121.83 quarterback passer rating in two playoff games. I would use my Peyton Manning argument in defense of Rodgers as well. It certainly was not his fault for the loss in Arizona or the close game in Philadelphia. His greatness will be something to behold in future years. To be fair, I did say he would prove to be a better quarterback all-time than Brett Favre, and I stand by that prediction.

The Packers over 100 yard rushing performance is a little over-hyped however. James Starks had a great game on Sunday; however, there were consistent 7 man fronts with sometimes 3 safeties back deep. Do not expect this to occur in Atlanta. The Falcons are an experienced, fast, and strong defense. Rodgers and the defense will need to try and win this one again. I think they will pull off the slight upset.

I was torn between a good weekend bad weekend situation with the Colts losing, and the Packers winning. The clincher for a good weekend came with Lebron's first forty point performance of the season and a consecutive overtime win for the Miami Heat. Uh oh, Charlie. I think I'm getting ready to order my six pack of Spotted Cow.

Miami Heat Season Opener

LeBron James Miami Heat Jersey

LeBron James Miami Heat Home Jersey

LeBron James #6 Miami Heat Jersey

LeBron James Miami Heat Jersey

Bye Bye Cavs Hello Heat

Wade & Bosh Heating Up Miami

Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh help the USA Redeem Team win gold in 2008 and now the new mission is to bring the NBA Title to Miami for the second time in franchise history. Chris Bosh announced he will be teaming up with Dwyane Wade in Miami next season. Picking up Bosh may be the only reason Wade is still in Miami because it seemed like he was going to head back home to Chicago. With Bosh in Miami it really doesn't make the Heat a shoe in for winning the title this year and really not even to come out the east. People seem to forget that Magic, Celtics, and Hawks are really returning the same team they had last year and if LeBron James goes back to the Cavs they will be in the mix as well. Now there has been talk that LeBron will be joining Wade and Bosh in Miami but we will have to wait and see if that happens later on tonight.

Now lets say James does sign with the Heat what will that mean for the Heat. The if that happens the Heat will only have 3 players under contract with almost no money to spend. That means they will have to go out and get some ok players to stick out on the floor with the "Big 3". I don't care is you have Wade, Bosh and James on the same team you need good players around them to win a title in the NBA. You don't want all 3 to have to play 40 to 43 minutes every night because come playoff time they will have no gas to get through the playoffs. Now I know your saying well they just need one or two to have a good game to win games during the season and that may be true but playoff time its a different story. Your playing the same team at least 4 times in a row and in today's NBA teams make adjustments, well the good teams make the good adjustments to find a way to shut the "Big 3" down. Then you throw in the egos, now Wade, Bosh and James don't come off as guys with egos and seem like player that just want to win championships but at some point the egos will come into play i mean that's just life. If the Heat can get James to sign the Heat will be the first or second best team in the East hands down but i just don't see them winning a NBA Championship next year because the "Big 3" will not have the supporting cast around them this year just because they wont have the money. Look at the 2007-2008 Celtics yeah they had Pierce, Allen and Garnett but what help them win the tile was the supporting cast Posey, Powe, House and Perkins and i don't see the heat picking up guys like that this season.
Now lets say the Heat don't sign LeBron and don't trade Beasley they will have about $12 to $14 million in cap room and with that they could sign 2 or 3 really good free agents and still have some money left over to fill in the roster. There are still a lot of free agents out there that are solid players and could help turn into a better balanced team then if LeBron were to sign. They could go out and get Brandan Haywood who's a solid cent that can get you 10 and 10 and play great defense as well. Also Mike Miller is out there as well the only problem with him is his shoulder, is it 100% because if it is that's a shooter and a player that can play good defense and has a high basketball IQ. Point guard they could just resign Rafer Alston who can still knock down the open shot and who can run a team still. They Heat have options out there for the team if they don't sign LeBron.

Make sure you tune at 9 on ESPN to see where LeBron James will end up next season Thanks for reading and please make sure to follow me on twitter and ill do the same back @Agent_EJohnson

The Summer Is Heating Up

This is by far going to be the biggest summer of free agency that we seen since 1996 and to me its bigger then that summer. With LeBron, Bosh and D-Wade being talked about so much we for get about the other and the fact that not only will there be free agents signing to different team but there will be trades and "sign and trade" this summer as well. Now there seems to be some player that we all thought would be with their team to the day they retire like Paul Pierce and Dirk Nowitziki. Now both are opting out there final year of their contracts. I feel like they both are doing it to free up money for their franchises. Pierce who is going to be 33 years old at the start of the season will be a second or third options to most of these teams out here trying to get LeBron, Wade, Bosh, Johnson, Stoudemire and some others. Lets face it Pierce is one of the oldest free agents this summer and teams are not going to throw $20 million at him to come play for them when they can throw that at one of the player I just mentioned who are younger then him. The same thing goes for Dirk he will be some teams second or third option when it comes to signing. Both Pierce and Dirk can still hoop so if they do leave who ever get them will have a very good addition to franchise. We all know Chris Bosh is just about 100% not going to return to the Raptors. The Raptors know that and they don't want to just let Bosh walk and get nothing at all in return for him. So they are very interested in a sign and trade. This right here would be a great deal for the Miami Heat who are trying to trade Michael Beasley so they can get 3 max players. This way the Raptors can get a player in return and if Beasley doesn't work out they can choose not to resign him after this season and free up cap room for there team. So this will make the likelihood of seeing what LeBron James called "Dream Team" more then a dream but a reality. If this trade happens which I truly believe it will then the Heat will find a way to bring LeBron to Miami.
Speaking of trading the Denver Nuggets are now listening to offer for their All-Star Carmelo Anthony who will be a free agent next summer. Now the Nuggets offered Anthony a contract extension for 3 years worth $65 million. I think they expected Carmelo to sign it but as of today he has not signed. Last I heard he was going over it with his team to make sure everything was good enough for him. Now I guess the Nuggets feel like their All-Star Small Forward may want to test the market next summer. If Anthony doesn't sign the extension that means at the end of next summer the Nuggets could be without Anthony and nothing in return , so they are shopping him now. I cant say I blame them I mean the offer is on the table and if Anthony not going to sign it why not trade him and get a player or two or future draft picks. Right now it seems like Anthony will be a free agent next year so the movement we see these teams doing right now may not just be for this summer but for next summer as well. The last thing ill talk about today will be Dwight Howard "List". I've heard that there's a few players that Howard would like the Magic GM, Otis Smith, to try and get this summer. First its Chris Paul which name keeps popping up in trade rumors and second is free agent Carlos Boozer. To mean it would make more sense to get Paul then Boozer. Paul because he can run the offense and make the game a lot easier for Howard. The reason I say no to Boozer is because the Magic are trying to make Howard that low post player so why crowd the low post with 2 players. I mean it could work because Boozer has a nice 10 to 15 foot jumper so he doesn't have to be in the post all the time. I just think Paul would be a better fit just because he has the ability to break down a defense and take some focus off Howard. If I was was Howard I would ask for some better shooter who he can pass the ball out to if and when he gets double teamed to knock down some shots

Thanks again for reading and make sure you check in daily for a new post and make sure to follow me on twitter @Agent_EJohnson ............Let's Talk Basketball.

Could Miami Have The New "Big 3"

The Boston Celtics made the deals to get Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett in the summer of 2007 to play along side with Paul Pierce to form the "Big 3". Now its talk that there could be a younger and maybe better "Big 3" forming in Miami by the end of this summer's free agency. Yes the rumor is LeBron James and Chris Bosh could be joining Dwyane Wade in Miami playing for the Heat next season. The Heat have more then enough money to sign all three to a max deal. Right now the Miami Heat only have five players under contract as of today and the Heat are still thinking about moving Michael Beasley who has 3 years left on his contract which the 2nd year is an "team option" and the 3rd is a "qualifying offer" so you know there are teams out there looking to trade for him just to free up cap room for next year.

To me the question for the Heat is the same we all were asking the Celtics 3 years ago can Wade, James and Bosh play together? A lot of people would yeah just look at the Olympic games in 2008. That's very true the whole Olympic team played together very well but that's the Olympics this is the NBA where egos are much bigger right? Maybe not I think all 3 want to win bad, Wade wants his second ring, James wants his first and Bosh just wants a chance to win one for the first time in his career. To me stats will be the last thing on their mind because the bigger picture is that NBA Ring. The great thing about having 3 players with the talent of these 3 is anyone can take over the game and drop 30 or more on any given night. With all 3 having the ability to score it wont be so much stress on them to have to go out and score 30 or more points every night (mainly Wade and Bosh) just to get their team a win. On the other hand if egos show up this wont be a good thing at all for this team next year if all 3 are in Miami next year. Plus they still need the right role players around them next season for this to work out. Just because all 3 may be on the same team together doesn't mean Miami will see a championship. If Boston didn't have players like Kendrick Perkins, James Posey, Eddie House and Leon Powe they wouldn't have had the season they had and wouldn't have won the Boston Celtics their 17th NBA Championship. Keep in mind that the NBA Free Agency period starts this Thursday July 1st.

Thanks again for reading my blog and sorry I didn't post in the pass few days but I'm back on it now and look forward to a blog tomorrow. Also make sure to follow me on Twitter @Agent_EJohnson or just click on the Twitter signs u see at the top and bottom of the page. Be safe and God Bless.

Celebrities Like LeBron James

It's a scientific fact that sometimes celebrities like basketball. And sometimes even pseudo-celebrities like basketball, most notably Billy Crystal. In fact, both real and kind of celebrities sometimes like basketball so much that they sometimes attend games, even in Oakland. It happened just last night, when the Cleveland Cavaliers visited the Golden State Warriors. In the name of journalism, I checked in with these stars to see what they thought of LeBron James dunking a lot.

• Christopher Lee - "No, I'm not Ian McKlellan, who is a dear friend of mine. I am Sir Christopher Lee, perhaps better known as Saruman. Tis it noble of me to mention my roles? I carest not, for I have played Count Dooku AND Doctor Scaramanga. CHARLEMAGNE!"
• Mark Wahlberg - "Hey LeBron. That's a nice dunk. You jump pretty high. My brother jumped off a roof once. Say hi to your mother for me."
• Lynne Spears - "Sure he's a successful child prodigy now, but just wait."
• Andy Garcia (not pictured) - "Can I get some better seats please? Like something out of the upper bowl?
  

Little Baby Blowtorch

I've been reticent to mention this because I feel like it might be a little too personal. However, I need all of your help. My wife has been pregnant the last nine months.

Last night, our baby was born. Despite my protests, she wouldn't go for the name Bonesaw Michaeljordan Kerby. I don't know why not, either. But since it was the start of the NBA season last night, she agreed to let me name it after whoever I want. I've got some ideas.

Might go with the 'best player in the game' strategy.

LeBron Treymes Kerby

Might try to make him more exotic.

Pau Kerby

Might go old-school.

Bill Kerby

Might go new-school.

Blake Kerby

Might go for the best look.

Dirk Nowitzkerby

This is basically the most important decision of my life, so I need your help.

What do you think?

Surprising LeBron James Facts

Favorite Book: Shooting Stars

Favorite Movie: More Than a Game

Favorite Record: Music Inspired by More Than a Game

Play Count of "Forever" (according to iTunes since 8-27-09): 846

Basketball Championships Won by The Blowtorch Proprietors While Wearing LeBron James Shoes: 1

Basketball Championships Won by LeBron James While Wearing LeBron James Shoes: 1

Favorite Food: fusili with alfredo sauce

Favorite Gum (packaging): LeBron's Lightning Lemonade

Favorite Gum (taste): Quench Gum - Fruit Punch

Least Favorite Gum (taste): LeBron's Lightning Lemonade

Owns a Ferrari named "LeRrari".

Favorite LeBron from "The LeBrons": Business LeBron

Least Favorite LeBron from "The LeBrons": none

Favorite Harry Potter Book: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Least Favorite Harry Potter Book: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Favorite Comedian: LeBron James on Saturday Night Live

Least Favorite Comedian: LeBron James on the ESPYs

Headband is made of 2300 thread count Egyptian cotton.

The LeBron James Conspiracy

Remember this?
Enhance.Enhance.

Good. Now look at this.

It is blatantly obvious that I have uncovered another great deception in the NBA. There are only three logical explanations for this.

1. LeBron James has a twin brother named LaRon James who does not have perfect vision and is starting to bald. LaRon often stands in for LeBron when he feels the situation is either too dangerous or too inconsequential. We'll call this the Tony Clifton Scenario. This is the most likely.
   
   
2. There is some bro who looks a lot like LeBron James and is trying to capitalize on his fame and money. We'll call this the Frank Abignale Scenario. This is the second most likely, which is why it is listed second.
   
   
3. LeBron James wears glasses. This is not very likely because he is superhuman and therefore has superhuman vision. While it might be a Superman kind of thing, that persona has been co-opted by too many other athletes that a brazen copyright infringement would not go unchecked in NBA back channels. This can be discredited.

Like I said, it's most likely that there is a LeBron James twin that no one knows about. The only differences betwixt the two are the glasses, loss of hair, and complete lack of athletic ability. If you have seen The Prestige, you'll quickly realize that this is something that has been planned since LeBron realized he could become famous. By using a twin he is able to be in two places at once, which is hugely marketable. Plus it will extend LeBron's career because it will save the wear and tear of travelling around the globe.

As the old saying says, you never know when a famous athlete will have a less athletic brother with wacky hair that the Phoenix Suns will want to draft.

Mehmet Okur is Becoming LeBron James

I was just going through the vast archives of random NBA pictures that I have on my 4GB Data Traveler thumb drive. These pictures have been culled from various sources, and they serve as backup whenever I'm trying to find new memes. Memes are currency in the blogsospheres, so it's good to have some in savings. It's also wise to invest your memes in some low-risk, high return MRAs (meme retirement accounts) so that when you're done searching for memes, you still have some left over. This is all pretty complicated stuff I learned in macromemonomics, but you get the point.

ANYHOW, I was searching through my meme portfolio when I found these two pictures:

Did you notice how obvious it is that Mehmet Okur is aping LeBron's style? Here is a side-by-side comparison to elucidate the similarities:

I've connected the things that are the same with an easy-to-read color coded set of boxes and lines. Check it out.

• Same Louis Vuitton bag.
• Same creepy line beard.
• Both have electronics on their person.
• Both walking.

Pretty obvious now, isn't it? Mehmet Okur is definitely pulling a Single White Female, a documentary about people trying to be like other people. The only difference is these two people are males. And also neither is a white person (technically). But otherwise, it's the same because he's trying to look EXACTLY like him. We all know how that turned out (someone died).

I don't want to wake up some morning and read that Mehmet Okur stabbed Steven Weber with a spiked heel. Someone keep an eye on this situation.

LeBron, Kobe, and the Battle of Asia

Kinda worried about Asia, guys. Follow this chain of events:

First, Kobe Bryant forces the Lakers to sign Sun Yue as an olive branch of sorts to the Chinese. However, because it's Kobe, there's more to the signing. He knows that adding a Chinese player to the roster increases his visability in China. Following the signing, Kobe makes Sun Yue sit next to him on every airplane and bus ride they take, even though he doesn't speak a word of Chinese.

Then, LeBron James convinces Nike to run in ad campaign in China, depicting him as the rightful heir to the throne formerly inhabited by the Bearded Man and Young Girl. As all Chinese know, these two former rulers were ousted by the Angry Man who has tyrannically ruled over China for centuries. Not until LeBron have the Chinese had a worthy adversary to Angry Man.

Then, Kobe takes a tour of Asia where he promotes his super light shoe. At every turn he derides LeBron's shoe for being too clunky. The Chinese take a liking to Kobe's shoes, mostly because they look better with high-end denim. Also, they're not that upset with Angry Man, he's just misunderstood.

Angered that Kobe has usurped his throne as reigning shoe maven in China, LeBron installs a massive video screen in his house that allows him to interact with the Chinese in real time. The video screen is wired in to China's closed circuit television mainframe, which gives LeBron the ability to interrupt any program with very important news. As you can see, the Chinese are delighted.

Finally, Kobe commissions the construction of a large, friendly looking robot which has been embraced by the Chinese. Unbeknownst to them, however, the robot is programmed so that if LeBron ever interrupts a Kobe commeercial or program it will systematically destroy whichever metropolis it is near. Savvy as he is, Kobe informed LeBron of this robot's capabilities and programming, leaving the onus on LeBron to not invoke it's wrath, in essence limiting LeBron's television control.

As you can see, LeBron and Kobe are at a standstill in the Asian markets. This perilous truce could eventually lead to out and out destruction and sure retaliation. I encourage you to write your local councilman protesting the arms race in Asia and the Pacific Islands. It is only a matter of time before these two rivals incite a third World War.

LeBron James Listens to "I Gotta Feeling"

So yeah, like, I'm really looking forward to playing with Shaq. And to next summer.

I gotta feeling...

Y'all hear that?

That tonight's gonna be a good night...
Tonight's gonna be a good good night...

Aww yeah. This that Black Eyed Peas song, right?

I got my money
Let's spend it up
I LOVE THIS SONG! THIS IS THE BEST PART!!!!!!