Television Producers Pitch - My Crew

Okay, so here's the story. The show is called My Crew. We've got four guys from different walks of life, but they're all in the NBA. We'll use Erik Spoelstra, the Miami Heat coach. Brian Scalabrine, from the Celtics. Yao Ming from the Rockets, and Yi Jianlian from the Nets. It's set in the offseason and these guys are all like best friends and it's all about them making their way in the NBA. It'll be like Friends plus Entourage, so like the best show ever.

Here's the best part. We already cast the show. BJ Novak is in to play Spoelstra. The guy from LOST, he's going to be Yao. And we got Lloyd from Entourage to be Yi. That's great right? He'll definitely help us capture the right vibe for the show. But get this — Scalabrine is going to play himself!

Just let me know how many episodes you want.

Paging Matt Bonner

Things have been pretty hectic at Blowtorch Consulting the past few months. After I put together the Brandon Jennings proposal, business boomed. And as the business has grown, I've had to sign a lot of non-disclosure agreements. This is the nature of commerce, I suppose.

But we are MAKING THINGS HAPPEN. For instance, last night while shopping for ingredients for a sausage casserole, I found our newest product endorsement.

GINGERBOY COOKIES - "Like gingerbread men, but younger in a not creepy way."

Some people say, "always be closing." I say, "always be brainstorming," which is probably more effective; some doors should remain open. Last night, in a split-second, I stormed my brain for a shortlist of possible Gingerboy endorsers. Here it is with each candidates pros and cons:

Blake Griffin

Pros: Has red hair. Actually marketable. Young, which correlates to the boy part of Gingerboy. Loves nutmeg.
Cons: May not be receptive to endorsing an offbrand cookie as he has other opportunities. Probably would want to change product name to Gingerballs. Hates cloves.

Brian Scalabrine

Pros: Has red hair. Kinda chunky, target market will identify with him.
Cons: No one wants to see Brian Scalabrine while they're eating.

Matt Bonner

Pros: Has red hair. No other marketing opportunities, so he would probably jump at this one. Avid baker.
Cons: Often sports a red beard. Possibly Canadian.

After careful consideration, I've decided to target Matt Bonner and his agent, Kenny Grant. Considering the other players Grant represents, I think he'll be pretty intrigued that someone actually is marketing one of his players. That's the Blowtorch Consulting strategy: make people who aren't marketable feel marketable so that they will pay you to market them.

Let's make this happen.

The Brad Miller Show - Episode 1

Brad Miller and sidekick Brian Scalabrine discuss guns, nicknames, and sprinting.

I'm Busy

Hey bros. No jokes today, probably, since I won't have too much time to formulate thoughts. I'm officiating a wedding tonight for my best friend, Brian Scalabrine, and I'll be away from the computer for the most part. Love y'all.

Incorrect Running Forms Arranged From Bad to Worst