I've Had it Up To Here With The Chinese

Seriously, its not fair that they have 10,000,000,000 people in their country.  Yao Ming hasn't played in a game since December 16th and has no plan of returning to the line up this season.  However, the big man was voted into his 8th NBA All-Star game, and is in fact a starter in the game.  This is just a mockery of the system.  How can I guy who hasn't even appeared on a court, let alone put up solid numbers, be an all-star.  I know this horse has pretty much been beaten to death every year, but that's because it pisses me and everyone else off every single year. 

Not only is it a joke that Yao gets to keep piling up all-star appearances, but it just really is a shame for the other guys who are left off the list.  Being selected an all-star is a great honor for these players and its too bad that the fans in China have made a mockery of the process.

The NBA needs to implement some type of over ride measure into the all-star ballot.  The fans should not just have free reign to vote for whoever they want.  In my opinion, there should at least be a minimum number of games played to even have your name appear on the ballot.  At least that way even if the fans vote in someone who doesn't deserve it, he'll at least have played this season.

Television Producers Pitch - My Crew

Okay, so here's the story. The show is called My Crew. We've got four guys from different walks of life, but they're all in the NBA. We'll use Erik Spoelstra, the Miami Heat coach. Brian Scalabrine, from the Celtics. Yao Ming from the Rockets, and Yi Jianlian from the Nets. It's set in the offseason and these guys are all like best friends and it's all about them making their way in the NBA. It'll be like Friends plus Entourage, so like the best show ever.

Here's the best part. We already cast the show. BJ Novak is in to play Spoelstra. The guy from LOST, he's going to be Yao. And we got Lloyd from Entourage to be Yi. That's great right? He'll definitely help us capture the right vibe for the show. But get this — Scalabrine is going to play himself!

Just let me know how many episodes you want.

Yao Ming to Exercise Medical Tests

Yao Ming’s broken left foot has been a really bad news for the Houston Rockets team and fans. The fear that Yao won't play for the next season (or maybe even longer) grows as the NBA draft approaching.

"The realization has hit them that this is grave," one NBA general manager said.

Daryl Morey, Houston Rockets general manager won't give any comment on Monday and a Rockets spokesman said they will not have further comment until Yao Ming undergoes additional medical tests.

Yao Ming Rockets Giant

Explaining Hook Shots

The hook shot is something near and dear to my heart. When the Trey Kerby YouTube mixtape (currently in production) finally drops, you best believe that there will be significant hooking involved, along with a very loud and ignorant rap song. That's the YouTube way.

Given these credentials, I'm pretty much the internet's leading expert on the hook shot. Furthermore, I have a degree in Health Science which allows me to explain things by using physics. Also, MS Paint lines/Helvetica.

Our first case is Yao Ming: Notice the three main elements that make a successful hook shot:

1. Full extension of the shooting arm.
2. Body and off-arm shield the defender from blocking the shot.
3. Strange facial expression.

Let us compare this to Dwight Howard:

As you can see, Dwight has his elbow bent which prevents him from getting the proper arc on his hook. Plus his body is nearly facing his defender, whom he hasn't shielded with his off-arm. However, his face is pretty crazy, so that's working for him.

Now another successful hook shotta, Tim Duncan:Fully extended. Defender shielded. Face showing no emotion due to his cyborg innards. Two out of three ain't bad. MEATLOAF QUOTE.

Anyways, when Duncan decides to get balanced and shoot a real hook, it's perfect. Surprising. Of course, if you were Tim Duncan and could throw up anything and have it go in, why wouldn't you? Because you would. You know you would.

But here's Greg Oden:

While his arm is extended and he's trying to shield the defender, he just isn't doing it right. His hooks look like when your high school coach teaches you a hook shot, so you try it in a JV game and airball it short. But you got fouled and make both free throws anyway, so whatever. That's exactly what it looks like. His arm needs to be extended so that he can get some separation from his defender.

Here's our last comparison.

First, Pau Gasol:Good extension, shielding, and separation. Being that it's Pau Gasol, obviously his face is insane. THIS IS ONE OF THE KEYS.

But fellow European (not really) Kosta Koufas isn't so great:I guess if you're a Jazz fan, you love this hook shot and think it's better than Chris Paul. But it's wrong in a lot of ways. But it's Kosta Koufos, so it's basically irrelevant. But you should note that if you can't gain separation any other way, a solid kick in the groin is a great way to get your shot off too. Just ask Joel Pryzbilla.

But fear not, fellow humans, even if you go outside right now (don't go outside right now, it's cold) and shoot your first hook shot ever, you'll still be better than Josh McRoberts:

1000 Words: LOUD NOISES

PAU!

YAO!



WOW!

Yao Knows Invitations

Perhaps you are a little Yao-ed out from all of the Yao Ming wedding coverage yesterday, but I really can't resist putting up this invitation / poster/ IDK from his wedding. It makes it look like Yao and his bride are starring in some sort of bad Chinese romance movie:



All I have to say is, T-Mac would never pull some stuff like that.