My Newest Clients

As y'all know, my house is a happening place. As the headquarters for Blowtorch Consulting, we were proud to host BDLCON 2k9. Fans from as far as Indiana, Canada, and Illinois flocked to Illinois to watch television and make jokes. We were pretty pleased with the turn-out.

We did so many activities, like dog training. Here is a famous Internet celebrity teaching one of our volunteers how to dribble a basketball:

Anyways, after the success of BDLCON 2k9, I've received some requests from athletes for some face-to-face consultations. It's a new day for Blowtorch Consulting. Where we had previously just e-mailed memes, marketing opportunities, and growth strategies to assorted players, now we're working hands-on with our clients.

Our first guess was a bro named Jason. He stopped by to see how he could become more recognizable to the public. I told him, "bro, you need to do something wacky. Something that will make people think about you in a new way."

He said, "like some new hair product and a gingham shirt?"

I said, "nah, bro. Like change your number or something."

And here he is now: I'd say that's a successful image makeover. Before he was just a bro who could shoot shots pretty good, but kind of looked like a sissy. Now, he's got this new silly number that makes people think he's mysterious.

After that went so well, he recommended me to his friend, Primoz. Now, I wasn't sure exactly who this guy was, or what his name was supposed to mean. I kinda figured he was a big Prince fan, but turns out he hates Prince. So the name mystery remains unsolved.

But I told him, "maybe you shouldn't necessarily play up the ethnic name. People will think you're coming over here to steal American jobs, which is kind of a touchy subject."

He agreed, saying, "Kul človek. Bom poskusil pogledati več ameriških."

I had no idea what that meant, but he went upstairs, changed clothes, and mussed up his hair. I was shocked to see that he looked exactly like my college roommate.


When he came down, he was calling himself "Pedro," thinking it was a typical American name. I suggested "Pete" and the transformation was complete.

I can't exactly say where this company is going, but I like the direction it's taken lately. To really help control the images of these almost-world-class athletes is a positive step for us. I'll keep you posted on the happenings of Blowtorch Consulting.

The G(m) Spot: No Love For DeShawn

At this point in his career DeShawn Stevenson is known for two things; that he was drafted out of high school, and that he turned down a 3 year, $9 million contract from the Magic last season and instead played for the minumum with the Wizards. What you may not know about Stevenson is that he has started all 82 games in each of the past two seasons and shot 46% from the floor. In fact, his stat lines from the past two seasons have been nearly identical:

2005-2006: 11.0 PPG, 2.9 RPG, 2.0 AST, 10.93 PER
2006-2007: 11.2 PPG, 2.7 RPG, 2.7 AST, 12.92 PER

Not stellar stats of course, but good enough on a team like Washington that doesn't really need too much more scoring with Gilbert Arenas, Caron Butler, and Atawn Jamison. As such, the Wizards have offered Stevenson a 4 year, $12 million deal to stay in town. So is this a good deal for DeShawn? To answer that question lets play a little game. Here are the stats for another 26 year old, free agent shooting guard. Let's call him "Player X" for now:

2006-2007: 10.9 PPG, 2.7 RPG, 1.2 AST, 13.87 PER

Pretty close to Stevenson's numbers right? So you would think he would get about the same money, right?

Nope.

Player X is Jason Kapono, and he just agreed to a 4 year, $24 million contract with the Raptors earlier this week, an average of $6 million per season. So is Kapono worth TWICE as much as Stevenson, even though they are the same exact age, have nearly the same stats from last season, and Stevenson in fact has a more consistent track record in the league? The answer is of course no. There is no way that Kapono is worth twice as much as Stevenson. The real question then, is whether it is Kapono that is being overpaid or Stevenson that is being low-balled. To answer that question, lets take a look at yet another 26 year old, free agent shooting guard's stats from last season. Let's call him "Player Y" for now:

2006-2007: 12.1 PPG, 2.9 RPG, 1.3 AST, 14.63 PER

That player is Matt Carroll, who recently agreed to a 6 year, $27 million contract with the Bobcats, which comes out to about $4.5 million a year. So two other players with nearly identical stats to Stevenson, with less starting experience in the league, who are the same exact age as Stevenson, are getting $6 million and $4.5 million a year respectively while Stevenson is being offered $3 million a year from the Wizards. It seems to me that the Wiz probably need to move that deal up to at least the value of Carroll's contract for it not to be an insult to Stevenson.

The G(m) Spot: Raptors Sign Kapono

Free Agency = Love. Seriously, the free agent season in the NBA is one of my favorite times every year. So as the signings begin to roll in we'll examine them here in the G(m) Spot.


The Deal: Jason Kapono (formerly of the Heat) agrees to a 4 year, $24 million contract with the Toronto Raptors.

For the Raptors: The signing of Kapono could have number of ripple effects on the Raptors roster. Kapono provides the elite perimeter shooter that the Raptors have been missing, and his presence on the court will allow Andrea Bargnani and Chris Bosh a lot more space to operate down low. This signing along with the recent trade made by the Raptors for Carlos Delfino likely spells the end of Morris Peterson's tenure in Toronto. With Kapono and Delfino now on board joining Joey Graham, Jorge Garbajosa, and Anthony Parker at the swing spots there just don't seem to be enough minutes left to go around to justify Peterson staying with the team.

For the Heat: Although any team will miss a player that just finished a season where he shot 51% from behind the arc, the Heat's pick of Daequan Cook in the draft will certainly soften the blow. Cook can shoot, there is no questioning that fact. The most interesting effect that the loss of Kapono could have on the Heat's roster however, is that now Dorell Wright will have an opportunity to show if he was really worth a 1st round pick in 2004. Wright played about 20 MPG last season but should see that number go up to about 25-30 now that Kapono is headed out of town.

For Comparison: Lyle Overbay of the Toronto Blue Jays also signed a 4 year, $24 million contract in January.