funny quotes on teachers
Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to. ~Richard Harris Barham
A cross-eyed teacher can keep twice the number of children in order than any other, because the pupils do not know who she's looking at. ~Four Hundred Laughs: Or, Fun Without Vulgarity, compiled and edited by John R. Kemble, 1902
It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is born. This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important thing is to keep your wits about you and borrow some money. ~Elinor Goulding Smith
No physician is really good before he has killed one or two patients. ~Hindu Proverb
The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next. ~Mignon McLaughlin
For safety is not a gadget but a state of mind. ~Eleanor Everet
Adultery is the application of democracy to love. ~Henry Louis Mencken, "Sententiae," A Book of Burlesques, 1920
We understand nature by resisting it. ~Gaston Bachelard, La Formation de l'esprit scientifique, 1938
We have learned to fly the air like birds and swim the sea like fish, but we have not learned the simple art of living together as brothers. Our abundance has brought us neither peace of mind nor serenity of spirit. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.
Most people use music as a couch; they want to be pillowed on it, relaxed and consoled for the stress of daily living. But serious music was never meant to be soporific. ~Aaron Copland
Men grow tired of sleep, love, singing and dancing sooner than of war. ~Homer, Iliad
Books are delightful society. If you go into a room and find it full of books - even without taking them from the shelves they seem to speak to you, to bid you welcome. ~William Ewart Gladstone
There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly. ~Richard Buckminster Fuller
Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy. ~Leo Buscaglia
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason. ~Stanley Baldwin I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason. ~Stanley Baldwin
Why should moral distinction be made between death by the spirochete and death by the streptococcus? ~Martin H. Fischer
Don't wait for the Last Judgment. It happens every day. ~Albert Camus, The Fall, 1956
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. ~Will Rogers, Autobiography, 1949
Being perfect artists and ingenuous poets, the Chinese have piously preserved the love and holy cult of flowers; one of the very rare and most ancient traditions which has survived their decadence. And since flowers had to be distinguished from each other, they have attributed graceful analogies to them, dreamy images, pure and passionate names which perpetuate and harmonize in our minds the sensations of gentle charm and violent intoxication with which they inspire us. So it is that certain peonies, their favorite flower, are saluted by the Chinese, according to their form or color, by these delicious names, each an entire poem and an entire novel: The Young Girl Who Offers Her Breasts, or: The Water That Sleeps Beneath the Moon, or: The Sunlight in the Forest, or: The First Desire of the Reclining Virgin, or: My Gown Is No Longer All White Because in Tearing It the Son of Heaven Left a Little Rosy Stain; or, even better, this one: I Possessed My Lover in the Garden. ~"The Garden," Chapter 5
I know nothing about sex, because I was always married. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor
