happy birthday quotes funny

The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins. ~Heywood Broun



Men, like nails, lose their usefulness when they lose direction and begin to bend. ~Walter Savage Landor



I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork. ~Peter De Vries



It's hard enough to be taken seriously in the struggle for gay rights without having a bunch of straight girls running around kissing each other to get the attention of boys and videocameras. ~M. Robin D'Antan, 2002



I am not certain of the hereafter. Frankly, I'm not all that certain of the here. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



Much smoking kills live men and cures dead swine. ~George D. Prentice



The time will come when winter will ask you what you were doing all summer. ~Henry Clay



The barrenest of all mortals is the sentimentalist. ~Thomas Carlyle, Sir Walter Scott, in London and Westminster Review, 12 November 1838



Fear prejudices courage. ~Abigail Charleson



The two offices of memory are collection and distribution. ~Samuel Johnson



All men are created equal, then a few become firemen. ~Author Unknown



What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson



It is lamentable, that to be a good patriot one must become the enemy of the rest of mankind. ~Voltaire, Philosophical Dictionary



There is no greater loan than a sympathetic ear. ~Frank Tyger



We have long had death and taxes as the two standards of inevitability. But there are those who believe that death is the preferable of the two. "At least," as one man said, "there's one advantage about death; it doesn't get worse every time Congress meets." ~Erwin N. Griswold



Renew your passions daily. ~Terri Guillemets



People understand contests. You take a bunch of kids throwing rocks at random and people look askance, but if you go and hold a rock-throwing contest - people understand that. ~Don Murray



A man and his art are like a fool and his king. ~Corri Alius



Jealousy... is a mental cancer. ~B.C. Forbes



Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. ~H. Jackson Browne