short funny quotes about friendship

I'll take heat rash over frost bite any day. ~Ken Travous



Health and cheerfulness naturally beget each other. ~Joseph Addison



It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. ~H.L. Mencken



Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels. ~Faith Whittlesey



It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety. ~Thomas de Quincy, Confessions of an English Opium-Eater, 1856



Fish, to taste right, must swim three times - in water, in butter, and in wine. ~Polish Proverb



Man uses his intelligence less in the care of his own species than he does in his care of anything else he owns or governs. ~Abraham Meyerson



Circumstances are the rulers of the weak; they are but the instruments of the wise. ~Samuel Lover



Because hypocrisy stinks in the nostrils one is likely to rate it as a more powerful agent for destruction than it is. ~Rebecca West, The Strange Necessity, 1928



Fishing is a... discipline in the equality of men - for all men are equal before fish. ~Herbert Hoover



Someday a computer will give a wrong answer to spare someone's feelings, and man will have invented artificial intelligence. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid. ~Jack Benny



Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever. ~Author Unknown



We awaken in others the same attitude of mind we hold toward them. ~Elbert Hubbard



There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing, and that's all you'll ever find." ~Robert Flaherty



We do not consecrate the flag by punishing its desecration, for in doing so we dilute the freedom that this cherished emblem represents. ~Justice William J. Brennan, for the Majority US Supreme Court Decision, 3 July 1989



Why reasonable people go stark raving mad when anything involving a Negro comes up, is something I don't pretend to understand. ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird, Chapter 9, spoken by the character Atticus Why should a man's mind have been thrown into such close, sad, sensational, inexplicable relations with such a precarious object as his body? ~Thomas Hardy



Experience has repeatedly confirmed that well-known maxim of Bacon's that "a little philosophy inclineth a man's mind to atheism, but depth in philosophy bringeth men's minds about to religion." At the same time, when Bacon penned that sage epigram... he forgot to add that the God to whom depth in philosophy brings back men's minds is far from being the same from whom a little philosophy estranges them. ~George Santayana



Is it a reasonable thing, I ask you, for a grown man to run about and hit a ball? Poker's the only game fit for a grown man. Then, your hand is against every man's, and every man's is against yours. Teamwork? Who ever made a fortune by teamwork? There's only one way to make a fortune, and that's to down the fellow who's up against you. ~W. Somerset Maugham



Men weary as much of not doing the things they want to do as of doing the things they do not want to do. ~Eric Hoffer