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Sunday, July 8, 2007

Roger Goodell Cannot Be Pleased


First it was the players. Then it was the punters. Now the latest casualty of NFL arrest-itis is Fox broadcaster Bill Maas. Maas didn't just get pulled over on a reckless driving charge, or some other small transgression. Nope, Maas went all the way Pac-Man style; guns, women, and drugs:

The 45-year-old Maas and a passenger in his Hummer, Sarah J. Murphy, 27, were arrested late Friday by Illinois State Police. During the stop, police indicated Maas seemed nervous, and he agreed to a search of his vehicle.

Police found a .22-caliber revolver, 5 grams of suspected marijuana, 6 grams of suspected cocaine and 28 pills of Ecstasy. Maas and Murphy were charged with possession of a controlled substance and possession of marijuana. Maas was also booked on a charge of unlawful use of a weapon.


Maas and Murphy are both residents of Lee's Summit MO, so I'll leave it to you to figure out what exactly the two of them were doing 400 miles from home with three different kinds of drugs and a handgun. I'm guessing this isn't the kind of community outreach Maas was involved in when he won the NFL's Extra Effort Award in 1991.

Any discussion of Bill Maas, even this one, would be incomplete without a few of his golden nuggets of wisdom from his broadcasting days with Fox. Here for your enjoyment, via the now defunct No Maas, are some of his better Maas-isms:

"Those neck stingers sting!"
"That look will curl spaghetti around a fork without a spoon."
"More chatter than a dolphin by a fish bucket."
"His hands are like cobras."
”All this talk of men in the box is not about Hannibal Lecter’s lunch pail.”
”The only grass that grows in the desert is called fairways!”

Ballhype: hype it up!